Death by To Do lists

Oh goodness. 2 weeks back teaching l (has anyone else started having sleep problems since they started back at work), and things feel just as crazy as they did before COVID-19. Actually no, it feels worse.

Covid related regulations have increased my already heavy workload as a teacher but the new academic year brings yet more initiatives, all with potential for growth and learning, but all being served with side orders of emails, research, planning, pressure, deadlines, targets and stress. Did we learn nothing over lockdown? It’s not just the teachers that are feeling the strain, our students are being trained to be ever increasingly busy, and still mental problems in young people continues to rise.

As I left work in tears this week, feeling overwhelmed and deflated, I thought ‘I won’t carry on like this.’ This constant pursuit of more, more things, more opportunities, more work, choices, more more more. It’s literally killing us. Do I need to change schools? No. I am proud to teach at my school and believe that all schools in the country are facing the same dilemma, perhaps with varying degrees of awareness of the damage this culture of business is having on society. Will I leave my teaching job? No. Not yet anyway. Can I wait for change to come from the top down? No. I will have to start this change with me, for myself?

Of course, my teaching job is not the only area of my life that drains my time and energy. Being a mother, an Artist and a business woman comes with different sets of demands, and then there are the demands of my creative spirit, my soul . The call to loose myself in a sketchbook or on a canvas, demands that I have found far too easy to ignore of late.

So how do I intend to shed this heavy cloak of productivity? By tackling one small thing at a time. I know- that title wouldn’t exactly qualify as click-bait, like ‘I sold all my possessions, quit my job and I’ve never been happier.’ But that’s the way role. Small consistent changes which over time have a big impact.

It’s deleting the solitaire app, saying no to the extra project at work and cancelling the kids weekend sports class. It’s saying yes to family movie night, yes to walks in the park with my daughters and yes to deep conversations with friend.

In truth, this desire to shed the excess from my life has been a running theme for more than a decade. I’ve gradually been chipping away knowing the benefit of living with less and seeing it’s impact on my life. It’s just that this week it seemed to me that the world is intent on racing out of lockdown into a faster pace than before and I felt might drown in this tsunami of excess. So I needed to commit to resisting this trend on a daily basis, and resistance takes stamina. I can only hope I have the resolve in the long term, as I don’t see this culture change anytime soon.

So I beg you, please don’t forget any lessons that you learned during lockdown. More family meals, reading, daily walks, sitting in the garden? What do you treasure that want to retain?